Why it’s so hard to find a therapist, and what to do about it

As ready as I was to end with my first therapist, I might’ve dreaded what it meant even more. We hadn’t managed much more than ten sessions, but I knew that what was happening in the room wasn’t the right approach to psychotherapy for me. So, after ending with them, I would start looking for a new therapist. I was hardly ready to be done with therapy.

But beginning the search for a new therapist can seem insurmountable. Where do you begin? What do you look for? How much can you manage to pay per session? Ideally, your insurance is accepted, though it’s seemingly become more common to be offered a superbill for you to present to your insurance after the fact.

More than any of that, simply making the effort to start the search was the hardest part. I just knew it would be a pain in the ass reading over bios and backgrounds, creating a shortlist, and reaching out. Putting all of that off would be easier, but it wouldn’t bring me any closer to dealing with what it was that brought me to therapy in the first place.

That was six or seven years ago. Today, finding a therapist has certainly become more impacted and challenging for a few key reasons. It is not, however, as impossible as you might have heard. After addressing what has made completing the search more difficult, I will share a few recommendations to help you in your search. Let’s begin.

5 reasons why it’s so hard to find a therapist

If you’ve tried looking for a therapist in the last few years, chances are it wasn’t a brief search. Even when demand for psychotherapy wasn’t so high, the process always seemed a bit of a challenge. Today, given what you’re likely to hear about how impossible it is to find someone to sit down with you, it’s enough to make you want to give up before you even start.

So, why does it seem so impossible to find a therapist these days?

1. Increased demand and long waitlists

Let’s start with the most obvious reason: therapists are in high demand and their waitlists are growing. The pandemic brought so much of our daily and weekly lives to a screeching halt. Many of the activities that sustained us, helped us practice self-care, and enabled us to let off some steam were either no longer available to us or made it very difficult to engage in. We lost the ability to socialize in person and, when we did, we had so many concerns to consider before, during, and after each encounter. Those first couple of years of collective trauma not only did a number on many of us, but it is one of the reasons the mental health resources we seek out are so strained today.

2. Therapy can be pricey

While rates for therapy have certainly increased in recent years, it’s not entirely clear whether that’s due to inflation, the law of supply and demand, or something else entirely. My hunch is that we’re seeing a combination of the first two. I also believe part of what makes therapy seem so expensive is that many people are seeing clinicians’ prices per session as they seek out therapy for the first time. Those price tags don’t just look like a lot of money — they are a lot of money. And, when you find the right therapist, one that is able to effectively support you, it often is worth the price.

3. Many therapists don’t accept insurance

Mental health ought to be covered by everyone’s health insurance. Unfortunately, that’s not the case in the US. One of the other challenges here is that many of the clinicians in private practice do not accept insurance. There are a number of reasons for this according to this article from Slate. Reimbursement rates have grown stagnant, the administrative burden takes away time providers could be seeing clients, and treatment protocols are sometimes questioned by insurance companies. Ultimately, some clinicians find working with these companies to be restrictive, ultimately taking away their autonomy, calling into question their clinical judgement, and limiting the financial viability of their practice.

4. Not knowing what to look for in a therapist

It’s simple enough to come up with a list of therapists to reach out to. Go to Psychology Today, enter your city or zip code, refine your search criteria, and the list will be created for you. The challenge is narrowing down that list further by reading through the various profiles and practice websites. Answer the following questions. What are your goals for therapy? Which frameworks or modalities do you think will work best for you? How do you want your therapist to show up for you during sessions? Which, if any, of your identities would you prefer them to share with you?

5. Not knowing where to look for a therapist

Knowing where to begin your search can be one of the greatest obstacles in finding a therapist. If you already knew about Psychology Today, then you’re probably already in good shape. But what if you want a list comprised only of clinicians who accept your insurance (in-network) so that you can keep costs down? Then you’ll want to reach out to your insurance. Calling and asking for a list of in-network providers can be a great place to start. With that list, search online to see if the therapists have a website where they talk about how they practice and what they specialize in to see if you’re a good match.

Where to find a therapist

So, you’re ready to find your therapist. Excellent! Let’s talk about some of the avenues you can take to find them.

Referrals

Has anyone you know been raving about their therapist? Perhaps their therapist works as part of a practice that supports mental health challenges like yours or serves communities with which you identify. As with so many other things in life, getting a referral from a friend is one of the easiest places to begin when starting a search for something new. And don’t just stop after getting the therapist’s name or their practice. Ask the questions that are likely to influence whether or not they’re for you so that you can make a more informed decision.

Online databases

I’ve already mentioned Psychology Today. You can also search on TherapyDen and Choosing Therapy among many others. These databases offer you a way to search for therapists in your area based on your unique set of needs and wants for therapy. Maybe you’re looking for virtual therapy (telehealth) only with a male clinician of color who has experience supporting BIPOC clients trying to manage work-related stress and substance use challenges. Those are all parameters you can use to refine your search for the right therapist.

Online providers

It’s getting harder and harder to keep track of these services as each year passes. Depending on your search history, you might’ve even seen ads for providers like Alma and Headway. Many of these services seek to simplify access to mental health, and they can do a great job of connecting you to therapists who accept your insurance. Other providers include Foresight, Grow Therapy, Octave, and Two Chairs.

Your insurance provider

Dead set on finding a therapist who accepts your insurance and doesn’t want any surprises later? One of the best ways to find an in-network clinician is to call your insurance and request a provider list. This will be especially important and helpful if you have an HMO insurance plan. It’s also likely you’ll be able to find providers on your insurance provider’s website (depending on your provider). Just make sure you search for therapists accepting new clients.

5 helpful tips for finding a good therapist

Finding a good therapist is all about finding who is right for you. That should be your mindset. Do the clinicians you’re looking at specialize in treating your specific mental health challenges? Do they utilize therapeutic approaches, modalities, and interventions that you believe are in alignment with how you think, function, and learn? Do you feel comfortable speaking with them? And, most importantly, do you know what you’re looking for in a therapist?

Beginning to answer the question of “How do I find a good therapist?” starts by answering the above questions or by being open to discovering the answers to those questions as you meet each therapist.

Here are five tips to help you create that shortlist of good-for-you therapists to reach out to.

1. Identify your needs, and share them

Why are you seeking therapy, and what do you want from it? Start there. Take some time to reflect on what has changed in your life and how you might benefit from some additional support. Maybe you’re dealing with specific issues like anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or trauma. Consider your goals and what you hope to achieve through therapy. Do you want to gain coping strategies, establish boundaries in relationships, understand yourself better, or improve emotional regulation?

Finally, identify your preferences for therapists, such as gender, age, cultural background, and therapeutic style (e.g., directive vs. non-directive). You might also want to think about the practical aspects, like session frequency and whether you prefer in-person or virtual sessions.

2. Reflect on previous therapeutic experiences

Have you been in therapy before? If so, you probably have a couple of ideas about what did and didn’t work for you the last time around. Make note of those preferences. Write down or think about what you liked and disliked about your previous therapists. Then, use that information to identify what you might need more and less of in this new therapeutic relationship.

3. Ask questions

While it might feel like you’re being interviewed, you are the party with the greatest amount of decision-making power. With that in mind, treat introductory and consultation meetings as interviews, because they are, and you’re the employer. Ask about background and experience, what sessions typically look like, how they measure progress, communication policies and preferences, what you can expect in the first few sessions, and how they solicit and manage feedback from clients.

4. Don’t settle, shop around

Again, the decision of who you choose to work with is up to you. For that reason, I encourage you to shop around and meet with at least 2-3 different therapists. Set up consultation calls — they should be free and anywhere from 15-30 minutes — so you can meet and get a feel for them. Use these consultations to compare how comfortable you feel with each therapist and how the treatment plans they propose (these won’t always be formal plans). If after a few sessions you feel as though the therapist you chose isn’t the right fit, discuss your concerns with them. And if things don’t improve, it is absolutely okay to seek out a different therapist. You might even revisit one of the therapists you previously screened.

5. Trust your gut

Throughout this entire process, trust your gut. Pay attention to your initial feelings and level of comfort with each therapist you meet. Do you feel safe? Do you feel supported? Do you feel understood? After your initial consultations, take some time to reflect on each experience. Don’t feel pressured to make an immediate decision. The therapeutic relationship is crucial, so take your time and listen to yourself so that you can find someone who meets your needs.

Who will be your new therapist?

Hopefully, after reading all of the recommendations shared above you feel a bit less intimidated — possibly even empowered — by the process of finding a new therapist. While there’s a lot to consider, the work you do upfront to identify good-for-you therapists will make getting the support you need so much easier.

If you have questions or want more tips on how to find therapists, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. If you’re based in the Bay Area or California, I may have a few other recommendations to share with you.

And, if you’re looking for a therapist like me, reach out and schedule a free consultation with me. I look forward to meeting you!